New Kid by Friday

New Kid by Friday

Sunday, January 04, 2015

4:23 PM

Kevin Leman

Attitudes, behavior and consequences in 5 days--not really but for strong willed kids, a good set of strategies.

Monday: attention please!

Power struggles: don't, you lose

Say it once, turn your back, walk away (otherwise you imply they are stupid)

Tues: Disarm the Dude with the Tude

Attitude towards self speaks through behavior

Who do you butt heads with--most like you

So, change your attitude first

What do I expect? I tell them don't ___, before they go, I communicate expectation to fail.

a. why is he doing this?

b. what do I feel about this situation?

c. mountain or molehill?

Every child makes mistakes and will embarrass you.

Correct the behavior and move on!

CHARACTER IS EVERYTHING:  foundation of attitude and behavior

a. let reality be the teacher...don't rescue

b. Respond don't react--no emotion

Say: tell me more

c. B doesn't happen until A is complete: don't announce this, let them figure it out.

WEDNESDAY: Mean Teacher is a good one.

Calm, consistent, do what you say= respect from kids

Long view:  start with the end in mind

Kids need attention, but need relationship too.

If disapproval is continual, kids rebel

Need to have authoritarian parenting.

Connection--acceptance, stay respectful, your on their team

Don’t ask questions, dialogue and conversef

THURSDAY:  Damage their Psyche?

Expectations clear--no wiggle room

Expect the best --and get it.

Otherwise--you're saying, 'you're stupid, and I have to help you."

SAY IT ONCE CONSISTENTLY--not mommy deaf, rules don't change with hormones.

Doing things your children should do is disrespectful of them.

Self esteem vs. self control--self esteem makes a hedonistic little sucker

Know when you need to draw the line and give a push.

An unhappy child is a healthy child--ready to change

Ex--want a toy--get it for them vs buying it themselves.

Another ABC

Acceptance:  (unconditional, real praise

Belonging: to peers, to family (they vote, listen, support)

Competence: empowers, responsibility (set parameters and stand back)

Praise is not good:  links self worth to what he does.

Encourage the ACTION.

FRIDAY: The Doctor is in the House

Summing UP

Reread this often

No warnings, threats or explanations--action and follow through

Have their own way--extremely powerful

Keep tension on the line

Behavior--gets attention, consistently

10 Be consistent in MY behavior

9 always follow through

8 respond don't react--close your mouth and think

7 count to 10 (what did I do, what should I do, pray)

6 never threaten

5 never get angry--back to square 1

4 don't give warnings--listen once and do it

3 ask 'who's problem is this?'--work toward independence.

2. Don't think misbehavior will go away

1 Happy Face ON